Friday, October 31, 2008

Desperate Housewife


Happy Halloween y'all. I realized today that it has been two years, one month, and two days since my last day in corporate America. On September 29, 2006 I happily forsook my career, and on October 3 I embarked on this journey called motherhood. After two years on the job I have many things to say about it, but first and foremost: I am darn glad that I'm not being formally reviewed!

Don't get me wrong. Stay-at-home-momming is a worthy pursuit, and I love my son with all my heart. I believe that being home with him is making a positive impact on his life, and I wouldn't give this up for anything. After two years, however, I have realized that it is definitely different than I originally anticipated.

When I was pregnant I would share with enthusiasm that I was looking forward to being a stay at home mom, maintaining my home, and spending every minute with my newborn son. I didn't understand why my mommy friends laughed. Then he was born. It seemed like there was not enough time to clean the house, do the laundry, cook dinner, AND spend quality time with my precious baby.

In the last two years it seems that I have managed to develop some semblance of a routine, although the house is not spic and span, and I am rarely entirely caught up with the laundry. I wonder how other moms do it. How do they keep their houses clean, keep up with the laundry, have a nice dinner on the table at a reasonable time, and spend quality time with their kids? Some days I feel like I am playing a role in a movie entitled Indiana Jones and the Coffee Table of Doom: raiders of the lost electricity bill. Or perhaps Groundhog Day: didn't I just clean this room? How did it get messed up so quickly? Am I living the same day over and over? Sometimes I worry that this makes me inadequate, but my husband (God bless him) never complains. He's wonderful.

I have been battling depression off and on for the last couple of years, partially due to the adjustment of going from career woman to stay at home mom. Have you looked at a calendar lately? Winter is right around the corner. When the weather is nice I take my son outside to play of course, but when the weather is less than prime for going to the playground or hanging out in the front yard to watch ants I do tend to isolate myself with the internet as my only portal to the outside world. Fortunately I have been working part time at a local church's Kids Day Out in their toddler room. This means several things: Ethan gets to go with me and socialize with other kids around his age, I get to socialize with other moms around my age, and I earn a little extra money each month for watching kids and changing diapers two half days per week. It's quite a leap from what I used to do for a living, but it's growing on me.